The Ubiquitous Update

In case you hadn't been apprised...I'm supposed to go in for a tummy tuck this Thursday.

That said, I have a RAGING head cold, and have been informed that it is entirely up to the doctor whether or not he wants to cut me up while I'm sick. They'll get back to me this afternoon once he's out of surgery (on someone else).

If I were a plastic surgeon and my 31 year-old might wind up hacking up a lung a day or two after I cinch together her stomach muscles (ever notice just how much work your abs do to make you cough?), I might decline until she were better...but that's just me.

So here I am, all nervous, and even worse now that I have the possibility of postponing my agony...not to mention the fact that I'm just plain miserable thanks to sinuses stuffed full of mucuous. Ugh.

I'll keep everyone abreast of the plans (if I were having a boob job, that would be really funny!) and we have even borrowed my dad's video camera to create a vlog of the process...so you'll get to see the nastiness in all its grandeur...IF it happens this week. We'll see. Until then!

When I Have a Wife, Will You be Dead?

This morning, while I sort laundry in our bedroom, my daughter grabs hold of my light-up rose that my sweet husband bought me at Disneyland a few weeks ago because I'd once mentioned that I'd always wanted one, pointless as they were. She races into the living room and hits the button to turn it on and change the bloom color, and my son, sitting at the table doing some Kindergarten workbook pages, says to her "When I get a wife and I'm a Dad, I'm gonna get one of those flowers at Disneyland for my wife!"

I come out of my bedroom thinking "aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww" and tell him how much his future wife will love it, and what a wonderful thing that is that he's willing to do.

So he looks me square in the face, sweet little guy that he is, and asks, "When I have a wife, will you be dead?"

"No, honey," I answer, "but I'll probably be about 50 years old."

"Woah, that's REALLY old," he retorts.

Maybe to him, but I'll be one thrilled 50-something when my son follows his dad's example and buys his little wifey a light-up rose at Disneyland. Love you, Jason. :) Thanks for being such a good example to our son!

Oil Painting Efforts, # 2

MOST unfortunately, I will never be as good at oil painting as my dear friend Cory, but at least I'm having a bit of fun with self-expression, right? Betwixt writing a book, messing around with music-making on Acid, (and no, that doesn't mean that I'm dropping acid, it means that the Sony program I use is called Acid Music Studio!) oil painting, urban gardening, studying photoshop, video editing, developing my author-website (I am now the proud "owner" of jessicabradshaw.com, which will actually have something on it in the next few days, I hope!) and gearing up for Halloween this year, I guess maybe I DO have a talent or two after all...or maybe they're not talent, so much as interests I'm pursuing. Yes, that's probably more accurate.

Anyway, the first couple paintings I did were indicitive of a couple of the characters in the book I'm writing...and yesterday I did another abstract, which is an "update" on one of the characters and where she "is" now as I'm writing her. Things seem to be looking up for our heroine!

Then there are the other two I did yesterday...both attempts at landscapes a la Bob Ross, but if I'm being honest with myself, neither of them very good. Cest la vie, right? It WAS my first shot, and ironically, my first shot was better than my second shot.

I've learned something else about myself with painting...I am not creative. No, seriously, I live by the rule of theater: Steal. In other words, take someone's elses ideas and put them to work for you. (This doesn't apply to my book, by the way...that's all me.) Where my painting is concerned, I'm not painting me or my feelings or even really expressing MYself. Instead, I thought of a family member I'd like to do a landscape for, and got busy. Mom # 2? A desert landscape...during a monsoon. (You know, so it's cooler outside that way.) Jewels? An "asian" waterfall. (Well, it was SUPPOSED to be an asian-style waterfall. I told you I suck at this!) (Note: If I had even a modicum of shame, or the slightest tendency toward embarrassment, I wouldn't show you this next one. But I don't. Lucky you.)

What if I were to paint one for myself? Mmm, yeah, that's just it...nothing really reminds me of myself, so...if I'm going to paint, I have to paint for other people and "steal" from their lives. I'm okay with that, I guess. As long as it means I get to have fun painting - and, Lord willing, improve! - well, why not?

Speaking of which, I'm out of canvas, so I need to run to Michael's this morning and fetch a few more. Oh, and get back to my book. And develop a more effective pitch for it. And get busy building my website.

All while being a mom and wife and running a household. Wish me luck, and try not to laugh too hard at the paintings!

One for the Grandparents

In Tyler's kindergarten classroom, his teacher moves a clip with each child's name on it up a behavior chart of sorts...and when a child's clip makes it to the top of the chart - thanks to tip-top behavior - the child is awarded a "Super Star."

What is a Super Star?, you ask. It's simple, really: it's a paper star cut-out. But that's beside the point. To the kindergarteners, it's a HUGE deal.

And Tyler got one.

GO, SON!!!!!!!!! You EARN those stars!!!

Jason made cupcakes with the kids last night: "sprinkle" cake with chocolate frosting. They were yummy, but true to Bradshaw form, Mikayla preferred the frosting to the cupcake, and ended up looking like Papa...mustache, goatee, and all. (Or at least, looking like Papa did before he shaved it all off again...)

GO, DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!! You EAT that sugar!!!

Yeah, okay, they're two very different things, and perhaps I shouldn't be encouraging the ingesting of sugar, but we thought the grandparents would enjoy the pictures, so...here you are, grandparents! Enjoy!

Mastercard

1 pair of London Jeans: $4
1 pair of Express Jeans: $4
2 pair of Guess Jeans: $8
1 pair of Ann Taylor Jeans: $4
2 pair of designer-knockoff sunglasses: $8
_________________________________________________________
7 well-fitting items I love & $28 for $500 retail therapy at "rewear": PRICELESS

2 Quotes from Tyler

First and foremost...the kids are sick. Very sick. As in, 10 minutes ago Tyler barfed into a bowl while watching Shrek on the couch, and an hour before that Mikayla was barfing into the same bowl while Tyler barfed in the toilet.

Since I'm a naturally self-centered person, now is the time to insert a comment revolving around me: I know I'm totally gonna catch this flu from them...which is ironic considering I'm still getting over the grown-up version of croup. Aaaaaah, kid-in-public-school. Can't wait. My throat feels like sandpaper even as a type this...and tomorrow I get to look forward to throwing up. Good times.

Back to the kids, though...

So at 2:21 this morning, Tyler comes careening into our bedroom yelling, and I quote:

"MIKAYLA'S POWERFUL-SICK!" (Magoo's retching and cries could be heard in the background...)

Huh?

If it hadn't been for the puke noises, I'd totally have started to laugh.

What year is this? "Powerful-sick?" Is my son a farmboy from Kansas...in the 1800's? "Gee, Ma, I don't know...she's powerful-sick. Mightn't we truss her up for a trip to the doc?" "Naw, son, we're still in the days of housecalls."

And speaking of quotes from my son, we're in the car as a family a couple days ago, and from the back seat we hear Tyler: "I WANT TO FLIP OFF THE WORLD!!!!!!"

Uh, really?

He immediately followed it up with "I want to flip our car off the world!" meaning, of course, that "flipping off the world" translates to "jumping really high and doing a flip so as to leave the atmosphere" - admittedly an odd thing to excite a five year-old - but I like his original quote best. The innocence of children. Cool.

He then asked what Mommy was laughing about, and I told him I wasn't laughing, I was coughing. I lied. Shoot me. But YOU try explaining to your kid what "I want to flip off the world" means to your average adult, and tell me that you wouldn't claim coughing, too.

Wish me luck with my sickies! Entry for Tyler's birthday soon!

HE DID IT!!!!!!!!

Oh, YES, he did! My husband bought a motorcycle.

A 2000 Buell Blast 500, to be exact. And he loves it.

You see, my husband has been searching, well, since we got married, really, for something "fun" to call his own...an interest he could pursue that might help him reclaim - just slightly - a youth devoted to God, Work, Education, and Family. Something to excite him, to make him feel alive and eager...something to look forward to doing, and all just for him.

He has now slaved for 5 years at a thankless, exhausting job, with no serious outside interests - or time to even FIND an interest - of his own, and has found that incredibly depressing. Who am I to deny him a ray of sunshine in his otherwise dreary world of work, work, work?

SOOOOOOOO...he researched and researched and researched, took a five hour book-learning class, got his motorcycle permit at the DMV, took a ten hour practical class - which he passed with flying colors - so stringent that, once passed, the DMV only requires evidence of passing the class to license a student to ride a motorcycle (no on-bike test at the DMV!) and he has an appointment a week from now to add the motorcycle class to his license.

He has also purchased a motorcycle...AND motorcycle insurance...AND VERY SUBSTANTIAL additional life insurance...AND a full-head helmet, gloves with added knuckle and wrist protection, a motorcycle jacket, motorcycle pants, and large, substantial boots to seal the deal.

He has driven his own motorcycle exactly twice now...once around the parking lot the day he bought it, and once up and down some local residential streets. He plans on doing the same this coming Saturday morning, Sunday morning, and Monday morning at the crack of dawn.

I say good for him! For LESS than HALF of his meager bonus this year, he is suited up and ready to ride...plus done everything in his power to make sure his family will be taken care of if anything should happen...whether while riding a motorcycle, or crossing the street. That's a lot more than I can say for most husbands. Plus, he will not be riding on the freeway for SOME TIME yet, and even then, only for a single exit or two. He has not yet gone over 35 mph, and doesn't plan to have to go much faster than that. He will not be riding between cars, but staying in the flow of traffic. In other words, unlike your typical 18 year-old (or your typical 50-something Harley rider), my husband is responsible.

So I'm happy for him. I confess, I'll worry just a bit every time he leaves to go for a little jaunt around town, but this is important to him - and a great stress reliever - so it's important to me. A happy Jason makes for a happy Husband and Daddy, and that makes EVERYBODY happy.

Oh, and did I mention he looks SUPER-HOT in his moto gear? That makes me happy, too! Go, Jason! (Just...carefully, please!)

SEQUOIA!!!

Okay, so...we may not have gorgeous, fantastical old structures like my blog friends Hannah and Simon in the UK...and we may not have a whole lot of history here in CA like my friend Marcus in VA...and we may be shy a few temples like Cory and Adrienne have in UT...or beautiful, wide open spaces like Kelly has in TX...but we DO have something that no one in the world can claim because they only exist in a very specific part of California, in a few small groves at a specific altitude: Sequoia trees, the biggest trees (not by height like Cameron has in Northern CA or by circumference like my blog friend Denis in Africa, but by VOLUME!!!) in the entire world. CHECK OUT THIS PUPPY:

So Jay and I took the kids for a family vacation to Sequoia National Park. We spent the first night "down the hill" (ie MOUNTAIN, 7000 ft down!) at the Lazy J Ranch Motel, a PERFECT place for a family reunion: it had a playground, a swimming pool, individual cabins (some with kitchens that sleep 8 people!), the Kaweah river next door, the family's animals (for a mini "petting zoo"), tether-and-volleyball and badminton and charcoal barbeques for making dinner outside your cabin (we cooked our Hobo dinners that I'd made up earlier in the day), and a continental breakfast to boot. It was great, reasonably priced, and the kids had a blast...plus it broke up the 5 1/2 hour trip nicely, so they only had to stick out 4 hours in the car.


The next day was perfect; it's about 70 degrees up the mountain, and the kids were wowed by the giant trees. We climbed to the top of Moro Rock (slowly...for our sakes) and Jay made super-delicious bratwursts over a charcoal cook stove. We checked into our room at Wuksachi, the "resort" up there (read: moderate-to-expensively-priced basic hotel) and then went exploring, running into some deer...the kids were thoroughly thrilled. Jason made dinner again (grilled bbq chicken drumsticks, grilled veggies, and roasted red potatoes), and we crashed that night...late. The kids went without a bedtime the entire trip; they just had to go to bed when Mom and Dad did. Surprise, surprise...they LOVED it.


So we also went for a hike around a big, BIG meadow, past some controlled burn areas, to Tharp's Log, a fallen Sequoia that a man with the surname Tharp had once hollowed out and lived in every Summer (with fireplace, bench and table, and bed!) and cooked the requisite hot dogs for lunch, then headed down to the King's River for some rock hopping, butterfly petting (I kid you not!) and fish spotting (meaning "OH, LOOK! THERE'S ONE!"), while Mikayla walked into the river up to her knees...with her pants, socks, and shoes still on.


We had dinner one night at the restaurant (which is incredibly overpriced but very good) and then went out to Sunset Rock (Beetle Rock, according to signs, but Sunset Rock for, well, the Sunset) for...the sunset. Jay and I took turns hiking the kids up and down the rocks and we'd planned to hang out and star gaze once the sun went down...until a mama bear and two cubs sauntered past a hundred or so feet away. Minutes later, a papa bear appeared and then swung around toward the parking area, so we decided it was best NOT to be on the rocks out in the open in the pitch blackness, or trying to find our way back to the car in the dark - flashlights or no (but we DID have them) - with a papa bear around. Jason took Tyler out later for stargazing after we'd returned to the hotel.


All in all it was a wonderful time, and when we were driving back down the mountain and I told the kids to say "Bye, Sequoia!" to the video camera, Mikayla yelled, "No, I don't WANT to!" In other words, we ALL had a GREAT time...and will certainly make that beautiful, peaceful, undertrafficked corner of the world a recurring theme in future Bradshaw family vacations. Enjoy the photos!

TYLER'S IN KINDERGARTEN!!!

Yes, it's true...my not-quite-5-year-old has begun "formal schooling."

Or as formal as you can get in Anaheim, CA.

See, he's attending the school around the corner (that we SWORE we'd NEVER send him to, and that we'd be LONG GONE from this state before he EVER began Kindergarten!), which started back on the 20th. His teacher WAS Mrs. Henson, and there WERE 38 kids in Tyler's class...until Friday.

Friday afternoon we got a call from the principal; she left a message asking if we were comfortable putting Mr. Man in a different K class, and I had my doubts...until she called this morning before school started to let me know Tyler would be with a Mrs. Forsythe tomorrow for school...and that Mrs. Forsythe's class would have 20 kids instead of 38.

We'll take it.

So as sweet as Mrs. Henson was, tomorrow we're done with her and moving on to greener pastures (read: a much smaller student-teacher ratio).

That said - and my son is a very capable boy, so I'm not at all concerened, but - have y'all heard about the new expectations for a Kindergartener exiting Kindergarten? I remember learning LETTERS in Kindergarten, but know they are expected to PROPERLY write their names (first letter capitalized, following lower-case), sight-read some 30-some words, be able to count to 100, write to 30, add to 20, and subtract from 10, and a whole host of other things (though I hear in most schools - particularly those outside our district - the Kinder expectations are actually MUCH HIGHER).

After the formation of this class, my son will be one of two white kids there each day (and will therefore, Lord willing, grow up racism-free), and will attend school approximately 17 1/2 hours each week. If after the first month, however, I feel like he's not being challenged (ie. he gets BORED) or I find out he's being given a hard time because he's a bit smaller or younger or paler than the other kids, I'm yanking him and we're beginning homeschool. Check back around the end of September for the verdict.

Anyway, Tyler's in, I shed no tears, and I love the stuffing out of our little man (now wearing uniforms, believe it or not!) and am so thankful that my son is still excited to wave to me and give me the ASL sign for "I love you" with his peers around. I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Wish us luck, and enjoy the "Tyler's First Day of Kindergarten" photos!

Celebrating Anniversary # 8

That's right, 8 years. I could go on and on about what a wonderful hubby my hubby is, how much I love him, or how grateful I am for the past 8 years...but that would be my usual, and we can't have the usual! Suffice it to say my husband is the perfect man FOR ME, and I cannot imagine any part of my life - from the moment he entered it to the end of eternity - without him. That said, we did some serious anniversary celebrating this year! :)

First we spent a weekend in Oxnard, a quiet little beach-and-ag-town just south of Santa Barbara (my folks kept the kids AGAIN, God bless them!) and stayed (thanks to his million Hilton points) at the Embassy Suites beach resort in Oxnard. The had a manager's reception each evening (which supplied the popcorn I fed to the bird on our porch) and a breakfast buffet every morning (which supplied our fuel for the balance of the days' activities), but the best part was our location: Jason has the highest membership status possible with Hilton Honors, so we were instantly upgraded free of charge - on top of our free room! - to their very best category (outside of the presidential suite, yeah, I know)...an oceanfront, first floor walkout. No, seriously. There was NOBODY closer to the ocean than we were, and we left our windows open both nights so the sound of the waves lulled us to sleep. Plus we ate at Capistrano's (their fine dining restaurant) one night, which was delightful/delovely/delicious, and then at a Japanese teppan-style steakhouse the next night, both of them obscenely yummy and romantic and QUIET. Aaaaaaah. The best part of the trip, though, was traversing a farmer's market to reach - here it comes! - the waterside Segway rentals! (You know, those gyro-based standy-uppy-things...) (Note I had to add the part about the farmer's market...oh, and the to-die-for tacos and tostadas at that little stand; if you've been there, you know the one!) The Segways were SOOOOOOOO much fun (and once or twice just a little scary, you're zipping around so quickly!) and not nearly as expensive to rent as I'd feared they would be...and I can honestly say there's nothing like zipping around on a Segway along the beach with your husband (almost) at your side grinning like a skunk. Fabulous. Highly recommended. Highly.

So a few days later was our ACTUAL anniversary, and we spent (an hour of) it in a gondola in Newport Harbor being paddled through the peaceful, sparkling canals just after sunset to the sound of Andrea Bocelli, glasses of sparkling cider in hand, munching on salami, cheese, and bread. (That was a really long sentence.) Our "motor" - Mike the Gondolier - was awesome, and it must take some SERIOUS effort and skill to manuever those puppies, let alone move them steadily along! I wasn't in a position (nor had I the desire) to check out his guns, but I'm guessing he had Schwarzenegger-style biceps. Back to the romantic part, though...I can't explain how awesome it was to be able to sit alongside the love of my life quietly discussing our lives together with the lights from Hoag Hospital (where I delivered our baby girl almost 3 years ago now) reflecting on the black water beneath us as we sipped cider to Con Te Partiro.

Sigh. I love my husband.

Anyway, we closed up the anniversarial activities a few nights later (the only seats we could get!) at Topol's farewell performance (he's going into retirement) of Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof at the OC Performing Arts Center. For those not familiar, Topol is the guy who played Tevya (the lead) in the movie! AND HE'S PHENOMENAL!!!!!!! He really IS Teyva...the ONLY Tevya...and I feel very sorry for anyone who has the misfortune of trying to pick up where he's about to leave off. His performance, even at ALMOST 74 YEARS OLD, left us speechless. Needless to say, the entire Segerstrom Hall gave him a standing ovation, and we're thrilled that we were able to attend and enjoy one of his very last performances before retirement. (In case you were wondering, he sure doesn't look or act 74!)

So our anniversary this year was spread out, fun, and full of festivities that celebrated us as a couple and the things we enjoy, and I loved every random moment of it. A big thank you to my sweet husband for all his planning and effort, but more than that, for being MY Jason. Love you, Jay. Always.

The Rumors are True...

I'm pulling a Stephanie Meyer, though Lord willing, it won't be so...Stephanie Meyer. I'm writing a book. Three books, really: a trilogy. I'm only partway through chapter nine, but I'm thinking that if I mention it here on the blog, maybe one (or a few) of you will give me grief about my break from writing and encourage me to get back into it so I can finally finish more than just the research. :) So, yes. I'm writing. Thanks for your curiousity (you know who you are) but that's all I'm saying about it for now.

No, that's not true; I'll also say this: It's NOT about vampires. I'm leaving that one to Adrienne, and SHE can rip it up!

Thanks to all those of you who've been so supportive thus far...always great to be able to bounce around ideas!

Aaaah, Summer...and Vacation...and School...and...It's been a while, hasn't it?

About 6 weeks, to be exact. I'll post a bunch of photos after this entry (when I get around to it...anyone got one? A Round Tuit, that is), but for now, the rundown.

Life has been busy for the Bradshaws these last few weeks:

• The kids "graduated" from swim lessons, meaning Tyler can now stick his face (briefly) in the water. That's something, especially compared to the fact that he didn't even want me to WASH his face in the tub before!


• We've spent some time with Bridget (and Catherine and Ashleigh) this Summer, the last visit at their house being a chance for the munchkins to splash and play and make mud (sorry, Bridget!) in the adorable inflatable jungle-theme ("with sprayer tunnel and slide!") pool in the Johnson's back yard, as well as a few Disney visits with Bridget's VIP seating at Playhouse Disney! Looking forward to more of that! (Being with Bridget, that is. We're a little Disney'd out for a while!)


• Speaking of which, we've been doing Disney...a LOT. Once you pay that initial massive amount for Premium passes, date night is (sorta) free!


• Jay finished up in Beverly (thank heavens!) and the Academy Awards audit is (almost) done. I even got to sleep over (in his SUITE, rough life!) and eat with him at LA Food Show one night, thanks to my folks watching the munchkins...


• ...which munchkins they also watched so BRANDON, who came to visit at the beginning of August, and I could go up to Magic Mountain and scream our lungs out on Tatsu and X2. I hadn't been there since BEFORE I get pregnant with Goo, so Tatsu was new to me, and X2 was new all over again...and honestly the first time in recent history I can remember being nervous to ride a coaster. Oh, and get this: I can ride X2 (thanks, Brandon!) but the teacups make me want to puke. When did THAT happen? Gettin' old, I guess...


• Brandon also accompanied us to Disneyland, (don't ask me why I didn't take any pictures when he was here...I suck!) and then again to Disney that same evening with me and Jay to hit up the "big people" rides. Basically, we just had tons of fun with our nephew-and-cousin, and he's TOTALLY invited back next Summer...providing we're still here. (Sigh.)


• I had a birthday...31 years, in case you were wondering...and Jason made me this insanely awesome birthday cake...I'm drooling just thinking about it. It was a buttermilk-based chocolate cake FROM SCRATCH with this chocolate ganache homemade icing and a million colorful sprinkles...ooooooooooh, I can't talk about it anymore, or I'm going to go into a chocolate coma...


• I got a henna tattoo! (Henna is TEMPORARY, people!) Found a local artist online, went to her place, and sat for 90 minutes while she drew the most awesome art on my upper back...and then, once we'd scraped it off and waited 24 hours, I found out my skin doesn't absorb henna pigment, so you practically couldn't see it. THAT led me to buy black jagua (a South American plant-based pigment) online, and Jason drew some Asian symbols on my back with it. It took beautifully AND looked like a REAL blue-black tattoo, but it took a lot of pigment for not a lot of coverage. So...eh. Not a fan of tats anyway, of course, but it was fun to try out the temp stuff.


• Mom and Dad and I took the kids to Oak Glen to go raspberry picking...and Mom and I managed to get all pricked and scratched up - and sweaty and sunburned! - for the priviledge of bringing home 8 cups of fresh, ripe raspberries, which we immediately made into the world's tastiest freezer jam...and ALL of my mom's half is GONE! (We're planning at least one more trip up there before the season ends...with better raspberry-picking attire, trust me!)


• We registered Tyler for Kindergarten...in a week! That meant he had to go to the pediatrician for his 5 year checkup...and about a gazillion shots, poor guy, but BOY, was he brave! The tears were more beforehand with the anticipation than because of the myriad jabs...and we're so proud of him!!!


• Speaking of doctors, I had an EHE exam (an "executive health exam" provided yearly through Jason's work) and found out that I'm healthy as a horse...except for those joint aches and the night sweats. Cest la vie! (I'm blaming my good health on all the farmer's market food we've been eating, by the way...just check out that dinner! Oven-roasted FM corn, FM heirloom tomato salad with basil from our concrete jungle, and our very own homemade pesto slathered on wild-caught salmon filets...what a meal!)


• We have a crazy-growing garden! Yellow pear-shaped cherry tomatoes out the ying-yang (YUM!), chives and green onions galore (although they're on the small and shabby side, I admit, but what can we expect on concrete?), more zucchini and pumpkin flowers than we know what to do with, (no, that's a lie...I stuff them and fry them and eat them. THAT'S what we do with them...ALL...) but no pumpkins or zucchini as yet, unfortunately, and a sunflower that has turned brown and just about died...which means it's going to seed, and any time now we'll have a couple hundred sunflower seeds to roast! Our "real" red tomatoes aren't all that big, (about roma sized, only round,) but they're starting to ripen, and we're super-excited about that! I love growing my own food!!! (And making dinner with the food I grow!)
• I have (once again) been released from my calling at church (maybe I haven't been there enough recently, as often as we've been out of town?) and am awaiting another call...but enjoying the lack of responsibility in the meantime. :)

There's tons more, but they will be their own entries, so I'm going to sign off here and work on the next one...and hopefully I'll stay more up-to-date! Cheers!

FIRE ALARM

I'm laughing so hard I could vomit. Still. 5 minutes later. God Bless Fail Blog. (And yes, that's a Jiffy Pop hanging up near the ceiling in place of a fire alarm, courtesy [originally] of There, I Fixed It dot com.)

And now I need a restroom so I don't pee my pants...

Indeed.

The original is MUCH cuter, but I can't find a good way to post it online. Anyone interested should email me...Tyler is Buzz, and Mia's a Fairy Princess. Motherhood. Sigh.

Just When We'd Given Up Hope...

BAM!...tomatoes.

No, we're not moving into a home, or out of state, or even into another new, inevitably and cursedly dinky apartment...yet. But we DO have tomatoes.

Not a proliferation of tomatoes, mind you, thanks to a serious lack in honeybees on concrete, but there ARE tomatoes.

And they're cute.

Yellow teardrop cherry tomatoes, to be exact, although at the moment they're green. And some haven't even gotten big enough to look like teardrops yet.

But others have, and that's what's important!

In other garden news, Mikayla's sunflower is now two feet tall, the zucchini plants are doin' their thang, Tyler's pumpkin plant has a host of male flowers (and even a few female flowers...SLOWLY) coming in, and one has burst into colorful bloom already! (There was a second, but it was starting to whither, so I plucked it off and ate it to see what a pumpkin flower would taste like. And yes, they're edible, just like zucchini flowers, and would be great sauteed with garlic in olive oil or deep fried, stuffed with cream cheese and chives like at Trina's. Yuuuuummm.)

They taste like squash, by the way, but not as intense. Did I say Yuuuummm? 'Cuz I meant to. Oh, wait, I did...twice. Let me say it again: Yuuuummm. Oh, and please excuse the photo in sideways...I know, I know, I just didn't feel like taking the time to reorient the photo. Just turn your head 90 degrees, and bill me for the doctor if you wind up with a kink.

We finally have some (small and wilty-looking) bell pepper plants coming in, and Jason's lettuce has kicked into (well, not really "high") moderate gear. We have RED tomato plants moving slowly on their way, too...not catching up to their yellow counterparts, but holding their own nice and slow. (What do we know about growing stuff? So we should have planted them earlier, so what?) In other words, all is well in our gardening world, and we've even had 5 Basil harvests thus far, the basil plants still going strong!

The shallots failed, by the way, thanks for asking. We were sad. We've replanted the area with lettuce and we're moving on.

So...now you know what I do for half an hour every day...I have no friends here, so I tend to my plants, and they treat me like family...ie, they're gonna feed me, and that makes me love them all the more. You know me and food. Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.

Speaking of which, did I tell you Jason took me to the Napa Rose? If ever you go, skip everything and order the Seven Sparkling Sins. Not only will you not regret it, you'll never forget it. But bypass dessert. It's sadly "eh."

More detail about the Seven Sparkling Sins to follow. Trust me, it's good. Sooooooooooooo good. Off to fantasize about them now. 'Til tomorrow...

Aaaaah, Mispronunciation...

Is that even a word? Hey, I'm a Mom with Mommy Brain blogging at 7:37 in the morning. Cut me some slack.

Anyway, we've re-upped our Disney passes, of course, so we're trying to make the most of them...and remembering why we let them expire in the first place. (Jason and I are just not the most social of people...to the point that even being in contact with crowds and waiting in long lines with a multitude of strangers leaves us both a little grumpy. Joy.)

So we took the kids Saturday morning, as we do, and on the way back to the car, we hopped on the giant, endless escalator that takes us up to our area of the parking structure, and Tyler was all excited to hop on that escuvator all by himself.

I'm sorry, Tyler, honey, what did you say?

I want to get on the escuvator all by myself.

On the what?

The Es-Coo-Vator.

Oh. (Trying to hide my smug "My Kid is So Cute" smile.) Okay, then, I promise I won't try to help.

No, I didn't correct him. He'll learn soon enough what the blasted thing is really called, but in the meantime I'm going to enjoy how cute it sounds to hear my four year-old call an escalator an escuvator. And breakfast "brekdast."

Because I already miss Dar Beeder. Worse than that, I miss Bee-Dah.

Man, they grow up quick...

It's only been three weeks, so here are the highlights:

1. Arizona was hot (like the fires of hell and damnation), but we had a GREAT time with family and friends.
a) We hit up the ostrich farm again with Mom and Dad, Jewels and Roo...
b) We played with Treen and Zac and Jewels and Roo at the Phoenix Farmer's Market (come on, what ELSE would I do on vacation?!) and hooked ourselves up with some seriously yummy grub...
c) We laid by the pool (or swam in it) and downed Chicago-style dogs at Wendy's mom's clubhouse where we met up with just about every family member under the sun (still missing Nik!)...
d) Jess threatened Jared's life...(mostly in jest, and he knows why...)
e) We visited Kim & Bella in their lovely new home (and Kathy in hers!) and salivated over the price of an apt the same size as ours for half the number of people...
f) We played (and played catch-up!) with Audrey and her munchkins at their place for far longer than we'd planned, each moment a laugh and passing all too quickly...
g) We ate at Pete's. Eat there. You'll understand.
h) The Bradshaws surprised us with a giant 4-layer, chocolate-frosted Wendy-creation cake (watch that girl BAKE!) for an early celebration of Jessica's birthday.

2. We returned home to our crazy over-grown tomato plants...and pruned. We were worried that they'd never produce and never recover, but we've already got about 18 tomatoes coming in...amongst 10 veritable tomato TREES...making them quite feasibly the most expensive yellow cherry tomatoes EVER...oh, and our zucchini and pumpkin plants are going NUTS!

3. We missed out on Ashleigh's baby blessing (sorry!) but congratulate Bridget and Dan (and Katherine!) on a beautiful, sweet baby girl, whose birth announcement we have sitting on our living room 'cuz she's just that adorable.

4. Kim has returned to California!!!!!!!...for a few days. (Her brother's wife is having a baby shower.) We, of course, realize that we miss her tons when we see her...but we're making the most of the couple days she's here and we're thrilled for her that she's so excited to go home (not that we want her to)!

5. We're mourning the loss of Michael Jackson...but not because we loved him. Instead, we can't WAIT until people shut UP about him, and we're wishing he hadn't died just so we could stop hearing about him on the radio...tv...on the net...on people's t-shirts at Disney...UGH. Come on, people. You haven't wanted anything to do with that creepy once-black almost-destitute man since the early '90's...why are you suddenly mourning him like he was a family member and letting the city of LA spent a couple million bidding him a ridiculous farewell? (Stepping off my soapbox now...)

6. My hair is darker and re-layered...and I love it. ROMAN ROCKS. Let me know if you need a SPECTACULAR stylist...he's the BEST!

7. We're in SWIM LESSONS! (Yes, we're...Tyler has his class, but Mikayla's class involves Mommy participation, so we're ALL in swim lessons!) You know...it's amazing how a mom can get everything in the world done in a day and THEN spend 3 hours watching a Masterpiece Theater/BBC production, and STILL not have time to shower after a swim-lesson-chlorine-dousing. We'll see how long my hair stays dark...(and if anyone says anything to me about priorities...I'll let you borrow Cranford. You try walking away from Judy Dench on the television to take a shower!)

What else, what else, what else...? Mmmmmmmmmmmmm...I guess that's all for now! Everything else has been laundry this and grocery shopping that (you know how it is when you return from "vacation"...) so I think I'm going to go take a shower...in time to get back in the pool for swim lessons, and then to head to the pool with Kim and Bella. Aaaaaah, Summer.

OH! 8! Brandon is coming out to visit us the first week in August, and the kids are quivering with excitement! More on that one AFTER the fact, but suffice it to say...that's gonna be ONE FUN VISIT! (We're already planning Disney, the beach, and a Six Flags venture...WOOHOO!)

Okay, so now THAT'S it.

Will post again when I have a new canvas painted or another chapter to my book...so I'd better get on it! Love to all, and thanks for the catch-up!

Addendum to Below...

So, I up and tried my hand at oils again while Goo was napping, and I think I did a little better this time...both were more like what I was thinking. For those in the book-know, she's the dark and he's the blue-green...obviously. Just wanted to share. (Cory, I know it's NOTHING like what you do, but honestly? I'm just a little impressed with myself! Now I know how you must feel...like THE woman!)

On Icing Buckets, Oil Paintings, and Disneyland Passes

I'll try to be brief covering all the above-listed topics, but you know me...brevity doesn't come naturally.

Anyway, here goes: My folks, seeing our crazy urban-garden-loving backyard, bought us a book on Square Foot Gardening...and it rocks. It suggested also planting in buckets, and we thought we were so clever, spending $2.78/5 gallon Home Depot bucket...until it recommended stopping by our local bakery and asking for their empty icing food-grade plastic buckets. Uh...we can do that? So we hit up Food 4 Less, Costco, and Vons this weekend, and scored no less than 10 buckets! (Believe it or not, Costco offered us ONE...Vons gave us two - AND steam-cleaned them for me!!! - and Food 4 Less coughed up FOUR icing buckets and THREE MORE Crema Mexicana buckets!!!) ALL FOR FREE!!! Bye, bye, $2.78/bucket! We're gonna be planting in food-grade plastics! (Yeah, yeah, I know...but we're excited.) I mean, take a look at how these tomato plants GROW in buckets! Scroll back a few entries and compare our tomato plants...a couple weeks ago they were healthy, but now they're out of control!!! They've even got blooming flowers where shortly beautiful yellow cherry tomatoes will be sprouting! HOW STOKED AM I?!?!?! (Remember people, we're talking ME and FOOD...and creating my OWN food. This is a DREAM!)

Jason bought me an oil paint set at Christmas, and I've been trying to get up the courage to suck at oil painting...so I just busted 'em out and painted last night. It's abstract, yes, and it's also a test...but for those of you already aware, I'm trying to write a book, and it's exactly where one of the characters IS right now, so...yeah. I won't say I'm super-proud of it or anything, but...I did that. So. Yeah.

So Jason and I got back our Disneyland passes. Yes, it's true, we caved...and now we can go any day, anytime, all the time. Why, you ask, would we blow so much money (plus upgrade Tyler's pass to premium, too)? Well, a few reasons: It kills us when family comes into town and we CAN'T just bomb off to Disney with them...that we don't have free parking to help them drop cars in the lot...that we don't have the 15% food discount or 10% merchandise discount (for them OR us, considering how much we love Steakhouse 55 but can't afford their prices, and this is just the bump we need to enjoy our potato stacks and seven onion soups)...you name it. Plus, now we have a (paid once, now free) date night activity, and we can take the kids every Saturday morning like we used to...only now we're diaper-bag-free and our kids will actually REMEMBER going! (Okay, at least Tyler will!)

In other words...if you have a Disneyland pass or are planning to hit up the park anytime soon, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!! We'd love to go with you, or hook you up somehow...after all, we live 5 minutes from the park in heavy traffic!

SINCE we have Disney passes, what did we do for date night Saturday? You guessed it. It was fun, of course, and we did Space Mountain and Soarin' Over CA, but then we decided to head out, and I've just gotta tell you what happened.

So we get on the tram to head, and get around that first bend to go back to the structure, when the tram DIES. So another tram swings around the corner and parks next to us so we can transfer to a working tram, no problem. We're about to go when we hear some women behind us screaming at each other, and a Disney tram dude flipping out. To top it off, he was very gay and had a major lisp (why on earth would you want to adopt a stereotype like that, really?) and half-running along the tram toward the front yelling "Call Security!" Suddenly everyone wants to know what's going on, we're all stuck there waiting for security to show, and the tram behind us and the tram behind them are stopped dead waiting for either our tram or the dead tram to get the heck out of the way.

In other words, ain't nobody goin' nowhere.

So we're hearing women yelling at each other about "assault" and "pressing charges" and thinking WHAT THE HECK!??! Security shows up...followed by no less than SIX police officers (the Downtown Disney cops, no doubt) and another half-dozen Disney employees, and three women get off the tram to kavetch to the officers and offer "their side" of the story, with one of the women's FOUR children getting off 10 minutes later. It's was close to half an hour from the time our original tram tried to leave until we finally were on our way to the parking structure.

So here's what I deduced: A & B were sisters; A had a newborn in arms. C had her four kids. During the tram swap, A was trying to move to the next tram, C was helping her kids on, and A, a very large, portly (read: grossly obese) woman was attempting to shield her baby from the commotion of a slew of kids and adults trying to switch trams. C accused A of "bumping" her, so C bumped back. B stepped in to bump C for bumping A, who was "just trying to protect her baby", so C bumped B, who bumped C back, and then C took things up a notch: she PINCHED B...HARD on the arm. I mean, instant black-and-blue welt-hard. Unreal. So then the screaming, the accusations, the crazy Disney employee stepping in, and basically just complete chaos...plus three or four white trash individuals loudly expressing their intellectually-challenged opinions to add to the insanity.

Did I mention these women were all well into their 40's and 50's?

The saddest part to me was watching those four little kids, all under 8 if a day, disembark from the tram to stand by their mother (C, the pincher) who was being questioned by police. Happiest place on Earth, right? Yeah, it might've been, if their Mom could've only recognized A as a human being trying to care for her baby.

Can I get a YIKES?

Anyway...if you want to grow tomato plants in buckets, go to Food 4 Less. If you want to learn to Oil Paint, talk to somebody else, like my friend Cory, who is not only able, she's GOOD. If you want to go to Disneyland, LET US KNOW!

And for anything else, well, we're leaving for AZ tomorrow, so don't expect much! Sayonara, and I'll be posting again come next week!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

To my Three Favorite Dads:

My Sweet Husband.

My Wonderful Dad.

My Terrific Inherited Dad.

I love you all. Have a fabulous Father's Day!