FIRE ALARM

I'm laughing so hard I could vomit. Still. 5 minutes later. God Bless Fail Blog. (And yes, that's a Jiffy Pop hanging up near the ceiling in place of a fire alarm, courtesy [originally] of There, I Fixed It dot com.)

And now I need a restroom so I don't pee my pants...

Indeed.

The original is MUCH cuter, but I can't find a good way to post it online. Anyone interested should email me...Tyler is Buzz, and Mia's a Fairy Princess. Motherhood. Sigh.

Just When We'd Given Up Hope...

BAM!...tomatoes.

No, we're not moving into a home, or out of state, or even into another new, inevitably and cursedly dinky apartment...yet. But we DO have tomatoes.

Not a proliferation of tomatoes, mind you, thanks to a serious lack in honeybees on concrete, but there ARE tomatoes.

And they're cute.

Yellow teardrop cherry tomatoes, to be exact, although at the moment they're green. And some haven't even gotten big enough to look like teardrops yet.

But others have, and that's what's important!

In other garden news, Mikayla's sunflower is now two feet tall, the zucchini plants are doin' their thang, Tyler's pumpkin plant has a host of male flowers (and even a few female flowers...SLOWLY) coming in, and one has burst into colorful bloom already! (There was a second, but it was starting to whither, so I plucked it off and ate it to see what a pumpkin flower would taste like. And yes, they're edible, just like zucchini flowers, and would be great sauteed with garlic in olive oil or deep fried, stuffed with cream cheese and chives like at Trina's. Yuuuuummm.)

They taste like squash, by the way, but not as intense. Did I say Yuuuummm? 'Cuz I meant to. Oh, wait, I did...twice. Let me say it again: Yuuuummm. Oh, and please excuse the photo in sideways...I know, I know, I just didn't feel like taking the time to reorient the photo. Just turn your head 90 degrees, and bill me for the doctor if you wind up with a kink.

We finally have some (small and wilty-looking) bell pepper plants coming in, and Jason's lettuce has kicked into (well, not really "high") moderate gear. We have RED tomato plants moving slowly on their way, too...not catching up to their yellow counterparts, but holding their own nice and slow. (What do we know about growing stuff? So we should have planted them earlier, so what?) In other words, all is well in our gardening world, and we've even had 5 Basil harvests thus far, the basil plants still going strong!

The shallots failed, by the way, thanks for asking. We were sad. We've replanted the area with lettuce and we're moving on.

So...now you know what I do for half an hour every day...I have no friends here, so I tend to my plants, and they treat me like family...ie, they're gonna feed me, and that makes me love them all the more. You know me and food. Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.

Speaking of which, did I tell you Jason took me to the Napa Rose? If ever you go, skip everything and order the Seven Sparkling Sins. Not only will you not regret it, you'll never forget it. But bypass dessert. It's sadly "eh."

More detail about the Seven Sparkling Sins to follow. Trust me, it's good. Sooooooooooooo good. Off to fantasize about them now. 'Til tomorrow...

Aaaaah, Mispronunciation...

Is that even a word? Hey, I'm a Mom with Mommy Brain blogging at 7:37 in the morning. Cut me some slack.

Anyway, we've re-upped our Disney passes, of course, so we're trying to make the most of them...and remembering why we let them expire in the first place. (Jason and I are just not the most social of people...to the point that even being in contact with crowds and waiting in long lines with a multitude of strangers leaves us both a little grumpy. Joy.)

So we took the kids Saturday morning, as we do, and on the way back to the car, we hopped on the giant, endless escalator that takes us up to our area of the parking structure, and Tyler was all excited to hop on that escuvator all by himself.

I'm sorry, Tyler, honey, what did you say?

I want to get on the escuvator all by myself.

On the what?

The Es-Coo-Vator.

Oh. (Trying to hide my smug "My Kid is So Cute" smile.) Okay, then, I promise I won't try to help.

No, I didn't correct him. He'll learn soon enough what the blasted thing is really called, but in the meantime I'm going to enjoy how cute it sounds to hear my four year-old call an escalator an escuvator. And breakfast "brekdast."

Because I already miss Dar Beeder. Worse than that, I miss Bee-Dah.

Man, they grow up quick...

It's only been three weeks, so here are the highlights:

1. Arizona was hot (like the fires of hell and damnation), but we had a GREAT time with family and friends.
a) We hit up the ostrich farm again with Mom and Dad, Jewels and Roo...
b) We played with Treen and Zac and Jewels and Roo at the Phoenix Farmer's Market (come on, what ELSE would I do on vacation?!) and hooked ourselves up with some seriously yummy grub...
c) We laid by the pool (or swam in it) and downed Chicago-style dogs at Wendy's mom's clubhouse where we met up with just about every family member under the sun (still missing Nik!)...
d) Jess threatened Jared's life...(mostly in jest, and he knows why...)
e) We visited Kim & Bella in their lovely new home (and Kathy in hers!) and salivated over the price of an apt the same size as ours for half the number of people...
f) We played (and played catch-up!) with Audrey and her munchkins at their place for far longer than we'd planned, each moment a laugh and passing all too quickly...
g) We ate at Pete's. Eat there. You'll understand.
h) The Bradshaws surprised us with a giant 4-layer, chocolate-frosted Wendy-creation cake (watch that girl BAKE!) for an early celebration of Jessica's birthday.

2. We returned home to our crazy over-grown tomato plants...and pruned. We were worried that they'd never produce and never recover, but we've already got about 18 tomatoes coming in...amongst 10 veritable tomato TREES...making them quite feasibly the most expensive yellow cherry tomatoes EVER...oh, and our zucchini and pumpkin plants are going NUTS!

3. We missed out on Ashleigh's baby blessing (sorry!) but congratulate Bridget and Dan (and Katherine!) on a beautiful, sweet baby girl, whose birth announcement we have sitting on our living room 'cuz she's just that adorable.

4. Kim has returned to California!!!!!!!...for a few days. (Her brother's wife is having a baby shower.) We, of course, realize that we miss her tons when we see her...but we're making the most of the couple days she's here and we're thrilled for her that she's so excited to go home (not that we want her to)!

5. We're mourning the loss of Michael Jackson...but not because we loved him. Instead, we can't WAIT until people shut UP about him, and we're wishing he hadn't died just so we could stop hearing about him on the radio...tv...on the net...on people's t-shirts at Disney...UGH. Come on, people. You haven't wanted anything to do with that creepy once-black almost-destitute man since the early '90's...why are you suddenly mourning him like he was a family member and letting the city of LA spent a couple million bidding him a ridiculous farewell? (Stepping off my soapbox now...)

6. My hair is darker and re-layered...and I love it. ROMAN ROCKS. Let me know if you need a SPECTACULAR stylist...he's the BEST!

7. We're in SWIM LESSONS! (Yes, we're...Tyler has his class, but Mikayla's class involves Mommy participation, so we're ALL in swim lessons!) You know...it's amazing how a mom can get everything in the world done in a day and THEN spend 3 hours watching a Masterpiece Theater/BBC production, and STILL not have time to shower after a swim-lesson-chlorine-dousing. We'll see how long my hair stays dark...(and if anyone says anything to me about priorities...I'll let you borrow Cranford. You try walking away from Judy Dench on the television to take a shower!)

What else, what else, what else...? Mmmmmmmmmmmmm...I guess that's all for now! Everything else has been laundry this and grocery shopping that (you know how it is when you return from "vacation"...) so I think I'm going to go take a shower...in time to get back in the pool for swim lessons, and then to head to the pool with Kim and Bella. Aaaaaah, Summer.

OH! 8! Brandon is coming out to visit us the first week in August, and the kids are quivering with excitement! More on that one AFTER the fact, but suffice it to say...that's gonna be ONE FUN VISIT! (We're already planning Disney, the beach, and a Six Flags venture...WOOHOO!)

Okay, so now THAT'S it.

Will post again when I have a new canvas painted or another chapter to my book...so I'd better get on it! Love to all, and thanks for the catch-up!